It doesn't take much
by The Neliel Tu
Summary: She misses him. Isn't he coming back? But she finds consolation, and love, somewhere she had never thought of looking... Fluffy.


**I guess this one was harder than I thought it'd be! Took me an hour or two to write! Wow...**

**Well, here we go! **

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**It doesn't take much**

_Loneliness._

She sat alone at the table, a small cup of warm sake before her. She did not drink. She could not bring herself to do so. She wanted the healing warmth of destruction, but she wanted to feel the ache of loneliness.

The awful pain of being alone, she felt it all too freshly. Every inch of her, from her flesh to her core, ached with the terrible pain. A pain that could not manifest itself physically, was all it was. However, she felt it as though it were cutting her slowly from the inside, waiting to get to the skin so it could show off the bright color of blood.

How long she had been alone now, she could not remember. He had _left _her. He had left _her._

She would have never left him. They had shared a life once. They had shared something delicious, she had thought. They had shared everything. But now they only shared loneliness.

_Soul Shattering_

The last kiss he ever gave her. It broke her heart to think about it. A kiss that was so painful for him, for her, it had had to be done in private. Selfishly, she had asked him, no, begged him to stay.

_Of course I cannot, Ran-chan._

His voice mocked her, as, for a moment, she thought he might say "Of course I will stay, of course, Ran-chan."

But no, he had not. No, he would not stay. She felt it, the soul that was just a metaphor, shattering.

Why not?

_Silly, I've got to go home._

Of course he did. He slept at night. What made her think he had meant forever? He had looked serious, but he had not been. That fox-faced grin had wavered for but a moment upon those words…of course I cannot.

But hadn't it returned on the last thing he had said? Why had her soul felt shattered from that kiss? What was that?

She knew soon. Too soon.

_I wouldn't have minded being your prisoner for a little bit longer…_

No, he was wrong. He had been holding her prisoner. He still was.

_Contemplation_

She wanted to find another. She could not.

She paced endlessly up and down the halls of her own home. The sake still sat upon the table, waiting for her lips to suck it dry. It sat neglected.

She wanted to stay. She wanted to go.

Her captain wanted her to stay.

Her loyalty demanded it.

Her state of mind rebelled. The pain was still fresh, couldn't they tell? Why didn't anyone know that she had loved the traitor?

She was transparent, wasn't she? Why weren't they helping her more? Why was Hitsugaya Taicho piling the paperwork on like there was no tomorrow, scolding her for napping in his office?

She couldn't handle it!

But she wanted to. Desperately, hopelessly.

She couldn't do it.

She had to.

She didn't want to.

She needed to.

_Desperation_

He was coming back.

She could feel it.

He wouldn't stay up there, with the Menos. Stupid, foolish creatures. They offered nothing. Nothing at all.

She offered love. Desire. Everything he could possibly want.

He was coming back.

He would grow bored. He would miss her. He needed her, as much as she needed him. She needed him more.

He wanted her, and only her. No one else could replace her in his life! She scoffed at the thought of him meeting someone else, someone better than her. Never! There could be no women in Hueco Mundo! Stupid man, he'll come to his senses.

He_had _to come back.

She couldn't _live _without him.

She was a shell.

She was a shell, an existence without a meaning. She was purposeless, without him. But since he was coming back, she would have meaning! She would have purpose!

Most of all, she would have _him._

And_he _would have _her._

She_needed _him. He _needed _her.

After all, what were they without each other? Two lost souls, just wandering about, with nothing but each other to hold on to, and even then, only the memories!

Stupid man.

He could have had her.

He_would _have her.

_She_would have him.

_Desolation_

He was never coming back.

She had been lying to herself.

She continued to pace, tears burning in clear blue eyes.

She flicked honey blonde hair over her shoulder.

No. He would not come back. He was happy there. He was _happy_ without _her._

She was _infuriated _without _him._

Lost love, she thought. Lost love, is it really better than no love at all?

She sank to her knees, cradling her face in her hands.

No tears fell from those eyes.

She sighed deeply, shaking her head.

She rocked herself, almost shutting the eyes, her hands moving to tug at her hair in a gesture of utter sorrow, her face moving deeper into the crook of her elbows.

The tears still did not fall.

She could not cry.

She felt empty. Dead inside, she was. Inside, she felt hollowed out, nothing left but an empty black pit. Nothing.

She almost felt like a hollow, but could shinigami even become hollows?

She doubted it.

She almost wished it would happen.

He would give her a second glance. A hollow, in Hueco Mundo, would it be such a sacrifice? She could have a chance.

It was impossible.

She stared at her pale wrists bleakly, her eyes empty.

_Solace_

She heard it, softly at first.

It was a tapping, light, upon something wooden. She looked up in confusion. What could that possibly be?

It stopped, and minutes seemed to pass. Then, it came again, ever so slightly louder.

She couldn't figure out what it was, and she could not bring herself to move.

It ended again.

Another minute passed.

It grew louder, pounding throughout her home.

A voice joined it, strangely familiar. She could not place it.

"Oy! Rangiku! Are you in there?"

Her name was Rangiku? She stood slowly, wondering if it was the door.

"I'm here." She tried to yell, but it came out as a cough, a whisper.

She walked to the door, as the knob was being turned. She pulled it back and watched in shock as a red pony-tailed lieutenant burst in, concern lining his face.

"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded.

"We were worried, Rangiku."

Her voice softened, her body, her face.

Everything that had tensed was relaxed.

"You…were worried…about me?" she asked in disbelief, and pride. There was sheer joy at the fact that her friends missed her, and loved her enough to worry.

"No shit." Leave it to Abarai Renji to spoil a mood.

She rolled her eyes at him, her mood surprisingly increased.

"It's about time someone worried about _me _for a change!" she moaned dramatically. "All the time it's always Rukia this, and Rukia that, and the Ryoka, and Momo, but no one comes to soothe my heart!" she pouted.

"That's not true." Renji bristled at the mention of Rukia, a dear friend to him. She was nothing more than a friend.

"Oh, well, I don't see flowers in here! Or chocolates! Or anybody at all but you, for that matter!"

"It's been three months."

Rangiku pouted. Whenever she pouted, her lips puffed out in such an adorable fashion that Renji couldn't continue any argument with her. Instead, he felt an urge to kiss those adorable lips, just like every other time he had ever seen her pout.

It was the same with every man who had ever seen Matsumoto Rangiku pout.

Those other times, he had resisted the urge.

This time, he did not.

She had begun to complain about the lack of entertainment, but immediately stopped once she felt the sensation of his lips upon hers. She relaxed again, having tensed up, and allowed him to draw her closer.

A kiss.

It had been so long.

Just one kiss, she promised herself.

_He'll_come back.

I know he will.

_He's coming back._ She told herself.

"He's not coming back, Rangiku." Renji told her.

"What makes you certain?" she demanded, pouting again.

Renji would have kissed her again, but he had to respond, had to place logic into her head.

"I'll kill the bastard."

"He's stronger than you think."

"_Everyone_ will kill the bastard."

"Aiz—"

"It's a damn shame they got away the last time." He interrupted. "I want to see him suffer."

"Renji!" she gasped in shock, pain filling her eyes.

Her face was against his chest.

Tears were beginning to soak his robe.

He lifted her face and licked the tears away.

His tongue tickled.

She closed her eyes and giggled, heedless of the price to her soul, the metaphorical soul that had shattered long before.

He smiled, happy to hear that giggle. It had been so long since she had laughed, or smiled, or even let a sparkle come into her eye for but a moment.

He kissed her again. He had to.

This time, she kissed him back with wild abandon. She pressed her body against him, holding him as tightly as he held her.

She found comfort in his kiss.

She found comfort in his arms.

She found comfort, most of all, in him.

_Adoration_

"I adore you."

"No." she scoffed at him.

"Yes."

"Never."

"Never thought I'd hear myself say it, but I must, and I do, Ran-chan."

_Ran-chan._

Who had called her that before?

Maybe it had been someone important.

Yachiru, perhaps? She was always making up strange nicknames for people.

No, she was sure the pink-haired youth had thought of something better, like Boobie-chan, or Jiggly. Jiggly had been what the small girl dubbed Orihime. That was such a long time ago, wasn't it?

Maybe Hitsugaya Taicho had called her that once before.

No. He was rather adamant in calling her "MATSUMOTO!"

And usually, he screamed it at the top of his lungs in anger.

Or had it been Yamamoto?

It could not have been. There was no way. It was simply not possible. He was _old,_and _old _people demand _respect,_ _authority, _and_proper things._

Ran-chan was certainly not proper.

"What are you thinking about, Ran-chan?"

She frowned, for his words had not broken through to her yet.

Kenpachi, perhaps? Yumichika? Ichigo? Orihime? Madarame?

Renji?

Well, of course Renji had, she remembered, he just called me that!

Gin.

Ichimaru Gin.

Her shoulders drooped at the memory.

_Of course I cannot, Ran-chan. _

He had always been mocking her.

Always.

She snapped back into reality, but only halfway.

_Bastards_

"That bastard." She voiced an answer to her thoughts.

"What bastard?" Renji asked helplessly. She glared up at him as if he should know. He had been with her long enough, hadn't he? She was wearing his golden ring, and he was wearing hers. Why couldn't he read her mind??

"Don't you know? Ichimaru Gin."

"Oh. _That _one."

For certainly, there were a lot of bastards in her life.

Even some of the women classified as bastards, but sometimes she was refined and called them "bitches" instead.

Even Renji had been a bastard at some points, but that all dealt with her mood.

But Ichimaru Gin, now he was a special case.

This was the first time she had called him a bastard in front of Renji, or, lately, it was.

_Bastard._

_Idiot._

_Fuck-up._

_Heartbreaker._

_Love of my life._

To her, he was, and always would be, all of those things.

"That _bastard. That _bastard."

Renji only nodded in agreement, he could do little else.

Aizen was a bastard. Tosen was a bastard. Gin was a bastard. They had all learned to accept it.

Hitsugaya Taicho was a bastard for making her do all of that paper work.

Renji was a bastard for making her cook for him, but only on Saturdays.

Kenpachi was a bastard for trying to fight Renji.

Byakuya was a bastard because he took Renji's free time away from time to time. Too often for Rangiku's needy nature, it was.

Rukia was a bitch because she was Byakuya's sister, but Rangiku didn't mind her too much.

Ichigo was a bastard because he had not given into her feminine charms.

Aizen was a bastard because he took Gin away.

Tosen was a bastard also because he had probably convinced Gin.

Gin was a bastard because he had let himself be convinced.

_Bastards. I hate them all._

Of course, she did not hate them _all, _but she did hate Gin. She did hate Aizen. She did hate Tosen.

But then again, hate was a common feeling toward those three traitors.

_Love_

Renji was in love.

"I love you, Rangiku."

She smiled at the words.

She heard them so rarely.

And they were never during, before, or after sex.

That was truly special.

You can say I love you before sex, but then it seems like you are just begging for it, and your heart is not truly in it.

You can say I love you during sex, but then, you are already getting what you wanted, and you're secure.

You can say I love you after sex, but then you are satisfied. You have no desire. You have no want to fulfill. You can say I love you as much as you damn please, and it will no longer affect the relationship, until the tears start, and the heart breaks.

Say it any other time, with a long interval before the chance of sex, or long after sex, then, it is truly special.

Rangiku had heard I love you during sex.

She had heard it before sex.

God, she had heard it so many times after sex, it had begun to lose its meaning.

But the first time Renji said it to her, she knew it was special.

She wanted it to be special.

Maybe Gin had loved her at one time.

But now he was gone, and he was never coming back.

Oh, sure, she had chanced to see him _once _in the living world.

Enough for a strangle hold and a kiss.

A frightening moment, it was.

_Deception_

_Ran-chan, I love you._

_You're lonely, is why you say that. _Her voice was strained. He had not seen the gold band around her finger.

_I love you. I want to be your prisoner…_

_You think you're getting sex, don't you?_

_What do you mean, Ran-chan? _ His voice was innocent. She almost doubted him, but never wavered.

_You always said 'I love you' before we made…had sex._

_No…that isn't true._

_That's right. You said it during, and after, too._

_I said it other times._

_You did not._

_When we were kids…_

He was right. He had said it, when they were children. But it had been so young and so childish it was inconsequential.

_I wasn't lying._

She did not care. She brought the hand up to his face, to show him how the gold sparkled under the streetlight, turned her back.

It was a mistake.

He grinned, a madman's grin, as he locked his arms about her throat, his face beside hers, teeth bared.

She gasped, unable to move for a painful minute.

Then, he was gone.

She fell to her knees, her hand over her heart.

I _loved _him?

I loved him.

_Home_

Her home was with _him._

Her heart lay with him.

The rest of her life, she would live with him.

He was her everything.

He was her true love.

He was the only one she wanted to wake up beside, or think about.

He was hers, and she, in turn, was his.

A home is a place to be safe.

She was safe with him.

Anywhere she went with him, it would be home.

No matter how much they fought, they were madly in love, beneath it all.

Some just have other ways of showing it.

He was Abarai Renji.

Who else could she love?

Who else's ring would she bear proudly upon that left hand ring finger?

Once she had thought she might wear Gin's ring.

She smiled happily.

She laid her head upon Renji's chest comfortably.

She was _home._

_Eyes _

She looked into his eyes, smiling.

He smiled.

He took her hand.

She squeezed, lightly.

"Your eyes are beautiful, Ran-chan."

"Yes." She whispered.

She gazed upon his tattooed face.

She gazed upon his red, soft, inflexible hair that she had grown to cherish.

She delighted in his muscular build, strong enough to carry her, while flash-stepping, great distances.

She'd rather not travel, but was content, instead, to lie with those muscular arms wrapped tightly about her.

He knew this, but he also knew to take her with him on whatever mission he had to do.

She would only pine for him until he returned and be useless to her captain.

And when he did finally return, she would be attached to him for days on end.

It was better for both of them, their work, and their respective captains if the two lovers, the young couple, were allowed rare time apart.

Rangiku did still enjoy time out with her friends, as did Renji.

But it just so happened that the two of them shared a lot of the same friends.

Drinking with friends involved drinking with Ren and Ran, as they began to be known.

"Ren and Ran are coming…"

"Ren-kun."

"Ran-chan."

She wished his named rhymed with an honorific. Or, that she could think of something. Chen?

"I hate cutesy rhymes." He told her, in an attempt to console her.

"But, Ran-chan rhymes!" she argued.

"You're right. That, my love, is an exception."

"Oh." She nodded, placated.

It did not take much for him to make her happy.

It never would…

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**I'd love to know what you think!   
**


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